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A Letter from Dr. Hudson TaylorFounder
of China Inland Mission 'I feel as though the first glimmer of the dawn of a glorious day had arisen upon me. I hail it with trembling, yet with trust. As to work, mine was never so plentiful, so responsible, or so difficult; but the weight and strain are all gone. The last month has been perhaps the happiest of my life; and I long to tell you a little of what the Lord has done for my soul. Perhaps I shall make myself more clear if I go back a little... 'My mind has been greatly exercised for six or eight months past, feeling the need, personally, and for the mission, of more holiness, life, power, in our souls. But personal need stood first and was the greatest. I felt the ingratitude, the danger, the sin of not living near to God. I prayed, agonized, strove, fasted, made resolutions, read the Word of God more diligently, sought more time for meditation and prayer - but all was with effect. Every day, almost every hour, the consciousness of sin oppressed me. Each day brought its register of sin and failure, of lack of power. Then came the question Is there no rescue? Must it be thus to the end - constant conflict and instead of victory too often defeat? How, too, could I preach with sincerity that to those who receive Jesus, to them gave He that power to become the sons of God (i.e. God-like) when it was not so on my own experience? I hated myself. I hated my sin; and yet, I gained no strength against it. I felt I was a child of God: His Spirit in my heart would cry: `Abba Father'; but to rise to my privileges as a child, I was utterly powerless.' 'All the time I felt assured there was in Christ all I needed, but the practical question was how was I to get it out? I knew full well that there was in the Root abundant fatness; but how to get it into my puny little branch was the question. As the light, gradually dawned on me, I saw that faith was the only prerequisite, was the hand to lay hold on His fullness and make it my own. But I had not this faith! I strove for it but it would not come; tried to exercise it, but in vain. Seeing more and more the wondrous supply laid up in Jesus, the fullness of our precious Savior-my helplessness and guilt seemed to increase. Sins committed seemed but as trifles compared with the sin of unbelief, which was their cause, which could not, or would not, take God at His Word, but rather made Him a liar. Unbelief was, I felt, the damning sin of the world-yet, I indulged in it.' 'When my agony of soul was at its height, a sentence in letter from dear McCarthy was used to remove the scales from my eyes, and the Spirit of God revealed the truth of our oneness with Jesus as I had never known it before. McCarthy, who had been exercised by the same sense of failure, but saw the light before I did, wrote: `But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One.' As I read I saw it all, `If we believe not, He abideth faithful' (2Tim 2:13). I looked to Jesus and saw (and when I saw, oh, how joy flowed!) that He had said: `I will never leave you.' (Heb 13:5) Ah, there is rest I thought! I have striven in vain to rest in Him. I'll strive no more. For has He not promised to abide with me?' 'But this was not all He showed me, nor one-half. As I thought of the vine and branches, what light the blessed Spirit poured direct into my soul. I saw not only that Jesus would never leave me, but that I was a member of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. The Vine, now I see, is not the root merely, but all root, stem, branches, twigs, leaves, flowers, fruit; and Jesus is not only that: He is soil and sunshine, air and shower, and ten thousand times more than we have every dreamed, wished for, or needed. Oh, the joy of seeing this truth! I do pray that the eyes of your understanding may be enlightened, that you may know and enjoy the riches freely given us in Christ.' 'Oh, my dear sister, it is a wonderful thing to be really one with a risen and exalted Savior; to be a member of Christ! Think what it involves. Can Christ be rich and I poor? Can your right hand be rich and the left poor? Or your head be well-fed while your body starves? Again, think of its bearing on prayer. Could a bank clerk say to a customer: `It was only your hand wrote that check, not you,' or `I cannot pay this sum to your hand, but only to yourself?' No more can your prayers or mine be discredited if offered in the name of Jesus (i.e. not in your own name, or for the sake of Jesus merely, but on the ground that we are His members) so long as we keep within the extent of Christ's credit - a tolerably wide limit.' 'The sweetest part, if one may speak of one part being sweeter than another, is the rest which full identification with Christ brings. I am no longer anxious about anything; for He, I know, is able to carry out His will and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me or how. That is rather for Him to consider than for me; for the easiest positions He must give me grace, and in the most difficult, His grace is sufficient. It makes little difference to my servant whether I send him to buy a few cents worth of things, or the most expensive article. In either case he looks to me for the money and brings me the purchases. So, if God place me in great perplexity, must He not give me much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trial, much strength? His resources are mine, for He is mine. All this springs from the believer's oneness with Christ.' 'I am no better than before (may I not say, in a sense, I do not wish to be, nor am I striving to be); but I am dead and buried with Christ --aye and risen too and ascended; and now Christ lives in me, `and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.' I now believe I am dead to sin. God reckons me so, and tells me to reckon myself so. He knows best, all my past experiences may have shown that it was not so; but I dare not say it is not now, when He says it is. I feel and know that old things have passed away. I am as capable of sinning as ever, but Christ is realized as present as never before. He cannot sin and He can keep me from sinning. I cannot say (I am sorry to have to confess it) that since I have seen this light, I have not sinned; but I do feel that there was no need to have done so. And further-walking more in the light, my conscience has been more tender; sin has been instantly confessed, and pardoned; and peace and joy (with humility) instantly restored.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Huegel
concludes 'I have quoted at considerable length from the doctor's correspondence,
because his experience illustrates so strikingly the incalculable difference which
this principle of identification makes. The doctor had been a burdened Christian-
he becomes a joyous, triumphant one. He had been a Christian who strove and agonized
in the energy of the `old life' to be Christ like, only to be brought at last
to utter self-despair. He realizes, at last, his position of identification with
Christ in death and resurrection, and there emerges a new man, who is swept forward
by the tide of a divine life, and who no longer serves mechanically, from a mere
sense of duty, but spontaneously from the inner surging of a heavenly life.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I'm thankful that this excerpt from Hudson Taylor's writings has just been shared. When I was first saved almost 40 years ago the Lord led me to the library to the 2 volume set of the biography of Hudson Taylor. I read of this experience that he had and prayed that I would come into the experience of it. After about 5 years of trials I did experience a union with God which was very real and I was made to know this was my answer to that specific prayer I had prayed after reading the account that Hudson Taylor had. Over the years I have tried to share the reality of it with others but have never found anyone interested or searching for the same and I did quit sharing about it. But since I had it, all of my service for the Lord became easier and whatever I set my hand to (with His leading) prospered in a new way. I would recommend that all Christians seek this until they do find this new walk - in union with God Himself. + HHT [Article Index] [Home] [Next Article] |
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