My Testimony of Healing
by Barbara Bowyer
I
remember the day, May 15, 1979 quite well. It was
hot and muggy in Florida where I lived with my
husband, Bob, and our two youngest , Dania (who
was 20) and Rob (who was 15). 'A cool shower will
do the trick', I thought, as I headed for my
bathroom. The cool water felt good on my skin,
and I reached under my breasts to wash them.
Suddenly, I felt a small lump in my left breast
quite close to my rib cage. It blew my mind!
'How
could this be?' I asked myself. I had passed my
annual checkup in February with flying colors.
Now, fear gripped me as I thought about my father
who had died of lymphoma in November of '74. I
remembered having read recently, that cancer may
be hereditary. I quickly dried and dressed and
ran to check my astrological chart. As a
professional astrologer and teacher of the
subject, I had neglected to keep up with my own
life. To my consternation, there were many bad
aspects coming up involving my health, hospitals,
and possibly surgery. This was turning into a
horror-scope, to coin a phrase. Immediately, I
called my gynecologist's office but I would have
to wait until the next week to see him.
An
awful feeling of gloom enveloped me. I felt
totally alone in the universe. You see, I
believed that I was doomed to go to hell because
I had divorced my first husband and subsequently,
met and married my present spouse when he was 24
and I 23. That was 23 years ago, but I was still
carrying guilt in my heart. I had been raised as
a Catholic and knew that divorce was a sin. Also,
I felt responsible for Bob's backsliding from his
Baptist beliefs because he had married me. No
wonder I was afraid to die and meet my Maker! If
only I had read the Bible, instead of occult
books, I would have known about John 3:16:
'For
God so loved the world, that He gave His only
begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish, but have everlasting life. For
God sent not His son into the world to condemn
the world, but that the world through Him might
be saved.'
But I hadn't, and so, feeling
abandoned by God, I was seeking my own way based
on His planets. This was a lie from the devil but
I was too ignorant of God's Word to know the
truth. Bob tried to dissuade me from getting
involved in this trap, but to no avail. For 13
years I had studied astrology, diligently, even
going on to teach the subject in adult classes at
our local Junior College. I began to build up a
clientele of those who would pay me to read their
charts. Pride took over and now, it looked like I
was getting ready for a fall.
'Hi! Mom,
I'm home' shouted Dania from the living room. She
was studying to be a dental hygienist at J.C. I
ran to her and hugged her, fiercely. Seeing tears
in my eyes, she asked, 'What's wrong?' I found a
lump in my breast', I sobbed, 'and I'm afraid.'
Suddenly, we changed roles, as she motherly
patted me on the back and crooned softly, 'You'll
be all right,' while I responded in a childlike
manner, 'I hope so!'
Looking back, in
retrospect, I wish I had allowed our youngest
son, Rob, who was in Junior High, then, the
opportunity to share in my concern, as well. It
would have drawn us closer and helped him to
mature earlier. We do our children a disservice
when we shield them from life's trials. How else
can they learn to face reality for themselves?
Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to: 'Train up a child
in the way he should go, and when he is old, he
will not depart from it.'
My husband, a
firefighter, was on duty that day and as usual,
called me after supper. 'Hey! Hon. What's going
on at home?' I tried to be calm as I told him
about finding the lump. Hearing the anxiety in my
voice, he tried to lighten the issue with his
down-home humor. 'Well, let's not make a mountain
out of a molehill', he chuckled, getting me to
smile in spite of myself. The day of my
appointment arrived and Dr. Pilkington who had
delivered my last 3 children by Caesarian section
clucked over me like a mother hen, 'What's this
about a lump, Barbara?' 'I can't believe it,
either,' I admitted. He swiftly pinpointed it and
sighed in relief. 'I can tell by its shape that
it's not malignant.'
At
this point, he tried to aspirate it with a needle
but it would not budge. 'Looks like we'll have to
make arrangements for it to be removed
surgically,' he added. 'Here and now?' I asked,
hopefully. 'No way. It will have to be done under
sterile conditions at the outpatient clinic.'
'Will I be under anesthesia?, 'I queried,
nervously. 'Only a local one and then we'll
suture you up and send you home, good as new!'
With that, he patted me on the head saying, 'My
nurse will call you later, with the details.'
On the day of the surgery, Bob accompanied me
to the hospital. He was told to wait in a small
'waiting room' while I was whisked away. An aide
handed me a sterile gown and slippers as she led
me to a dressing room, saying, 'Put these on and
I'll be back in a few minutes to wheel you into
the O. R.' Once in the O.R., I was moved onto a
table where the nurse prepared me and set up a
canopy between me and the doctors. I tried to
relax and listen to the music which was being
piped in. It was an instrumental rendition of
'You And Me Against the World', which would prove
to be quite prophetic for me. It was so soothing
to my soul, that I was startled when my doctor's
voice cried out, 'There's the little sucker!' My
heart leaped to my throat as I knew, somehow,
that it WAS malignant. I closed my eyes and
uttered a silent prayer, 'O God, please help me!'
I opened my eyes and turned my head to the right,
under the canopy. Imagine my awe and surprise
when I saw Jesus' face close to mine! His
countenance was sad as He pleaded with me, 'Why
are you running from Me? I love you.'
His
beautiful eyes bore into my very soul, bringing
to mind a prayer from my childhood. 'Lord, I am
not worthy that Thou should come unto me, but
speak the word only and Your servant shall be
healed.'
The peace that passes all
understanding flooded my senses and I knew that
everything was going to be all right. He
continued to gaze, lovingly, upon me and then, in
a heartbeat He was gone.
Once again, I was
brought back to the reality of the moment, by my
doctor's voice. 'Barbara, the lump has been
removed 'en toto' (entirely) and sent to the lab
for testing. You can call my office for the
results within a week. With that, I was placed on
a gurney and returned to the dressing room. I
dressed hurriedly, eager to share my vision with
Bob but when I saw him I couldn't do it. I felt
it was too sacred to share with anyone right
then. 'Well,' he commented, 'You look
transformed. I take it all went well?' 'Oh, yes!
The doctor removed it in it's entirety and he is
no longer concerned.' 'Good, let's go home! This
has been harder on me than on you!,' he grinned.
A week later, I called Dr. Pilkington's nurse,
only to hear, 'The results are in and the doctor
wants to discuss them with you today at 1 P. M.'
I knew better than to question her, as nurses
NEVER divulge any information without the
doctor's permission to do so. Besides, I could
still see Jesus' loving face before me and it
buoyed me up.
That afternoon, Dr.
Pilkington seemed shaken as he asked me to sit
down. 'What is it, Doctor?', I prodded. Now he
was ashen-white as he blurted out, 'I found out
today that the lump was, in fact, malignant. I
blame myself for not putting you under totally
and waiting for the results of the lab test
before suturing you up.' 'But Doctor', I argued,
'I heard you say that you removed it in its
entirety.' 'Yes,' he agreed, 'but if I knew then,
what I know now,----- his voice trailed off into
nothingness. 'You would have removed my breast,'
I finished for him.
'That is the general
procedure,' he acknowledged. His concern for me
was so sincere that I felt forced to share my
vision with him. I concluded by claiming my
healing!'
As a Christian, I believe that also, but as a doctor, I must urge you to take further precaution.'
'Such as?' I asked.
'Chemotherapy medication' he answered.
'Let me think about this,' I hedged. That night,
I conferred with Bob about all that had
transpired, including the vision. He, too,
believed that I was healed; and so we decided not
to say a thing about the bad report or the vision.
For a time, my faith in God was strong
but as the weeks went by, the vision faded from
my memory. My clients kept calling, asking me to
do updates on their charts. When I refused,
saying, 'I've given up astrology and playing
God', they would respond with flattering lips,
'But you're so good at it and isn't astrology
based on God's planets?'
Had I joined a
Bible-teaching church back then, I could have
quoted Deuteronomy 18:9-12: 'When thou art come
into the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee,
thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations
of those nations. There shalt not be found among
you anyone that maketh his son or his daughter to
pass through the fire, or that useth divination
(fortune telling), or an observer of times
(astrologer), or an enchanter (sorcerer), or a
witch, or a charmer (magician,) or a consulter
with familiar spirits (channeler), or a wizard or
a necromancer (one who communicates with the
dead). For all that do these things are an
abomination unto the Lord:'
Unfortunately,
I hadn't sought Christian fellowship and
eventually, I slipped back into Satan's snare by
relenting to my clients' wishes. Once more, my
pride was taking me to destruction. (Read
Proverbs 16:18)
In July, our immediate
family joined our eldest son Bryan, and his wife
Carol with their daughters (Bianca - 4 and
Francesca - 3) on a trip to Arkansas. He was
seriously considering a move to Fayetteville to
attend the University on his G.I. Bill of Rights.
We four, drove in our motor home while they
followed in their van. The Ozark Mountains were
breathtaking as we drove along winding roads and
pristine waters. I remember thinking to myself:
'I sure could commune with God out here!' It was
a lovely time of family fellowship and the days
flew by. My youngest brother David was to be
married on August the 4th in Brooklyn, N.Y.
(where I had been born and raised) so I opted to
fly out of Little Rock to attend the wedding. He
met me at the N.Y. airport with a big hug and
then we were on our way to mother's house where
my loving relatives greeted me with more hugs and
kisses. Vilma, my older sister and her husband
Max had already arrived from Florida where they
live also. That night, she came into the bedroom
I wanted to talk about my trip to Arkansas. I
found myself confiding in her about all that had
happened to me, personally. She was very
supportive, agreeing that this was not the time
to share such news with the others. It might cast
a shadow on what was a blessed and happy event.
The next morning, she came to me saying, 'I
dreamt that we were in the house where we grew up
and suddenly a fire started. The firemen came to
put it out but later it started up again.'
Although I assured her that it was a harmless
dream, in my heart, I felt that it was an ominous
omen.
The wedding day dawned beautifully
and the family drove to the Bride's church. It
was a typical Roman Catholic structure made in
the Gothic style. The music and the incense
brought back memories of my childhood. I saw
myself as a 7 year old, dressed in white,
receiving my first Holy Communion. Tears flowed
down my cheeks as I, again, cried out to God for
help. The marriage ceremony was over and I could
hardly believe my ears as the Priest blessed the
Bride and Groom and the people in attendance with
the words, 'Let Go and let God!'
By now,
Bob's vacation time was almost used up. I flew
back to Little Rock to join him and the rest of
the family as we returned home.
Summer in
Florida can last until October or November unless
stormy weather brings in the cool air. This year
was no exception. I chose not to renew my
contract to teach, using the heat as an excuse
for not wanting to get out and about. The truth
was that our eldest daughter, Mary, who was
married and living in Virginia had been led to
the Lord and became born-again. She would call
me, urging that I repent and turn from the
devil's work. Finally, in defense, I told her
about the vision and how Jesus said that He loves
me. 'Yes, God LOVES the sinner,' she agreed 'but
He hates the sin!'
'Read Matthew 6:24 which
tells us: 'No man can serve two masters - God and
money. For you will hate one and love the other,
or else the other way around.' (Taken from The
Living Bible, paraphrased.) I knew in my heart
that this was true but why was it so difficult
for me to do? Now, as a mature Christian, I
realize that sin becomes a habit and then a
stronghold which controls us against our will.
It took another crisis to settle the issue.
In November, I found that the lump had returned.
I thought of Vilma's dream and it made me shiver
with fear. Unbelievable as it may sound, my
doctor performed another lumpectomy and waited a
week for the results. Consequently, when the
report came back positive he gave me this
ultimatum, ' You will go home and have the
holidays with your family, but come January, you
will enter the hospital for an exploratory
operation. Should there be any trace of cancer, I
will remove your breast.'
'Yes, Doctor,' I
answered, meekly. That day I decided that rather
than being morose, I would make Christmas a
special time of joy for my loved ones. Mother was
planning on coming down and that gave me the
courage of my convictions. Being a great woman of
faith, her prayers would sustain me. Bob was
happy to hear my decision and backed me all the
way. We would take it one day at a time!
At first, Dania and Rob, were frightened for me,
but after hearing of my seeing Jesus, their
spirits were lifted. One by one those with whom I
shared the vision, both family and friends, were
encouraged by it.
As I told clients that I
was facing surgery, they'd simply say, 'Sorry to
hear that but call me when you're feeling
better.' It was a blow to my ego that they
thought of me as a commodity, not as a person,
however, I needed to know that. Now, I could
truly, 'Let Go and let God' take over my life!
Miraculously, Oral Roberts who was the
leading preacher of healing started sending me
faith-filled letters. He explained that Jesus not
only died for our sins but also for our healing.
It was based on Scripture. 'Who his own self bare
our sins in his own body on the tree, that we,
being dead to sins, should live unto
righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.'
I Peter 2:24 Just before Christmas, Oral sent a 5
pointed star decal to put up as a point of
contact, to remember to pray the following prayer:
'God's covenant promise (Jesus Christ)
has arrived and no power on earth can stop His
star of deliverance from rising in my life.' Amen.
I placed it on my bedroom window where I
would see it early in the morning and late at
night. It brought me great comfort. Slowly but
surely, my faith in God and His Son was growing
in my spirit.
Truly, 'the joy of the Lord was
my strength.' I had more hours to devote to my
husband and children instead of to strangers. How
foolish I had been, wasting my energy on things
that did not add to their benefit, as well as
mine. I only hoped, that I hadn't learned my
lesson, too late!
Finally, my day of
reckoning was approaching. The operation was
scheduled for the morning of January 15, 1980 but
I was to check into the hospital on the day
before at 4 P.M. for some preliminary testing.
Bob and Mother had accompanied me and I assumed
that they'd stay to keep me company for awhile
but I was wrong. They insisted that they were
needed at home; so they hugged me saying, 'Get
some rest! We'll see you in the morning.' With
that, they turned and left. Soon after, a nurse
entered with a gown instructing me to shower and
change as I wouldn't have time in the morning. As
I showered, I thought, how life can come full
circle. Eight months ago, in the shower, my life
as I knew it, had come to an end. Now, I prayed
for a new beginning.
I was sitting up in bed
when a tech arrived to take some blood. He was
followed by the anesthetist who had come by to
explain that he would monitor my breathing during
surgery. 'So doctor,' I quipped, 'my life will be
literally in your hands.'
'Yes' he
replied, 'But have no fear. I haven't lost a
patient yet.' Soon it was supper time and I
forced myself to eat everything I could because I
would not be given breakfast. I tried to watch
some T.V. shows but they all seemed so trivial
that I turned the set off.
About 9 P.M. a
Roman Catholic priest showed up at my door asking
if I was a Catholic. 'I used to be,' I replied
honestly, 'but I've been divorced, Father.' That
didn't seem to stop him as he sat beside my bed.
I started telling him my life story right up to
the present moment. He shook his head in
wonderment and confessed, 'Daughter, I don't have
all the answers but Jesus does. Turn to Him!' He
gave me his blessing and left the room. I looked
up at the crucifix on the wall (it was a Catholic
hospital) and declared, 'Jesus, it's just You and
me, again. I'm sorry that I turned away. Please
forgive me of all my sins and heal my soul. If it
is Your will to take me home, so be it! But if
not, I promise to spend the rest of my days
serving You and the Father.' The peace of God was
so strong upon me, that I relaxed and fell asleep
soundly.
Morning came and I was being
taken to the O.R. My family hadn't shown up, yet,
but it didn't matter. I knew that I was in God's
hands and His perfect will. Hours later, I awoke
to see Bob's and Mom's smiling faces over me.
Instinctively, I reached to see if I still
had my breast and I did.' No sign of cancer in
your breast or lymph nodes,' Bob affirmed.
'Thanks be to God,' I uttered with all my heart and soul!
'He
sent His Word (Jesus Christ), and healed them,
and delivered them from their destructions.'
(Psalm 107:20)
Barbara Bowyer is an intercessor and prayer warrior for Jesus.
She attends the Countryside Christian Center in Clearwater, Florida where she is a member.
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